Resolutions for 2026
1a. If you take your shoes off when you enter my house, you will be politely, then firmly, asked to put them back on. How did this thing ever get started? Nobody ever did this 25 years ago. If you had done so, it would have been considered impolite, overly-familiar behavior for a guest. Now, it seems everybody does it. I experienced it to some extent when I lived in Philly, but here in Vegas, EVERYONE takes their shoes off at the door. And it’s not like these people work in horse stables and arrive at my front door having just mucked out a stall. Typically, they were in their home, then rode over in a car, then got out and traversed a few feet of sidewalk to my door. What, me worry?
This ritual of demanding that guests remove their shoes strikes me as yet another step in the continuing deterioration of a host’s responsibilities in offering hospitality. I have no duty to admit you at all, of course, and there are plenty of people who are not permitted to cross my threshold. But if I allow you in my home, you get a hug or a handshake, a drink of water, something to nibble on, an ashtray if you smoke, and a Styrofoam cup in which to spit your tobacco juice. Under most circumstances, I will lie to the police for you, so I’m hardly going to object to a few specks of dust on my already-filthy carpet from the bottom of your Buster Browns. I WILL NEVER DEMAND YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES. Only Putin, or someone very much like him, would do that.
1b. The other piece of this, or the flip side, is that I will not de-shoe myself when I enter your home. I hope this is not a problem for you. If so, just don’t invite me over. I mean, when Trump’s $300 million ballroom is completed, he will not tell Japanese PM Sanae Takachi to take off her Manolo Blahniks before she seats herself at Table One next to Donald and Melania. Ditto Bibi. (Though he probably won’t be wearing Manolo Blahniks.). The very idea is appalling, and the likely result would be a shooting war.
Predictions for 2026
1. Travis Kelce will dump Taylor Swift early in 2026, he will marry a sweet, lovely, cheerleader-type girl by the end of the year, and she will produce three children for him by the end of the decade. Taylor will write a blockbuster song about being dumped, her pain, etc., and she will release eight different versions and re-mixes of it so her fans will have to spend hundreds of dollars buying them all.
2. The 2026 Superbowl will be played on February 10,
3. Greenland and Puerto Rico will become the 51st and 52nd states.
4. The Dodgers will win the World Series. Again.
5. Keir Starmer will be forced to resign as Prime Minister in the UK in 2026, but he will appear on Dancing With The Stars later in the year.
6. Qatar, Turkey, Saudi Arabia and Iran will all be granted NFL franchises.
Predictions from 2025—The Results
1. I predicted the Toronto Blue Jays would win the World Series in 2025. In fact, they lost in seven games to the LA Dodgers.
2. I predicted there would be legislation in Nevada regarding bouncy castles. On January 1, 2026, a new law goes into effect requiring they be shut down when wind gusts reach 15 mph.
3. I predicted the correct score of the 2025 Superbowl, at 40-22. However, I said the Las Vegas Raiders would beat the NY Giants by that score. The actual winner and loser were the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs.
4. I predicted the Kenyan Space Program would achieve a successful manned lunar landing on July 27, 2025. In fact, it occurred on August 2.
5. I correctly predicted that Christmas performances of The Nutcracker would be banned throughout Afghanistan by the Taliban in 2025.
6. I predicted the Oklahoma City Thunder would win the Stanley Cup in 2025. In fact, they won the NBA Championship.
Copyright2026MichaelKubacki
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