Saturday, April 20, 2013

TOOMEY MOVES TO THE DARK SIDE, or Politics For The Time-Challenged


Pat Toomey is a Pennsylvania senator who we all thought was a constitutionalist, Tea-Party sort of conservative. Now, after his failed campaign to enact a new scheme for expanded background checks on gun buyers, it is clear he is no such thing. It happens. Guys go to Washington and they forget why they were sent there, or they get duped by other legislators and lobbyists into supporting things they don't understand. Or they simply succumb to the I'm-a-big-important-guy-and-the-people-who-elected-me-are-dopes syndrome. In Toomey's case, it appears that all these things played a role in his descent into Beltway thinking and Beltway culture.

If you support the right of free Americans to bear arms, the Toomey-Manchin Amendment was a truly dreadful bill. It did basically nothing about systematically identifying loonies who should be denied guns. It did nothing about felons obtaining guns illegally. It imposed enormous criminal penalties on various types of private gun transfers that have never been shown to cause any sort of problem. And, despite the caterwauling of Toomey, Manchin, Obama, and a thousand newspapers that no such a thing could ever happen, the bill would have allowed the federal government to set up a national gun registry.

I know these things because I read the amendment. It's not easy because there are references to other laws and regulations and you have to find out what those things say before you can understand exactly what the Toomey-Manchin Amendment does. It took a couple of hours, and that is time most people will not be willing to spend.

So here's a shortcut for the time-challenged citizen.

When Pat Toomey started speaking out in the press and in public forums to generate support for his proposal, he did something he has never done before in his public life. He started saying that his plan contained “common sense” gun proposals. This is never a good sign. When a politician, rather than telling you what the bill says or presenting arguments for it, tells you what your conclusion must be, the only rational response from the citizenry is to reject that politician's proposal (and that politician as well). I mean, it takes some nerve to do this, doesn't it? As a public servant, Toomey's job is to present his legislation, explain it to me and present his arguments in favor of it. But the conclusion is MY job. I'll decide whether the bill is a good one or whether it's “common sense” or simply nonsense. When a politician assumes a conclusion in this manner, it's an insult to his audience. Are we fools? Are we morons? Are we incapable of assessing data and weighing arguments and deciding what we think?

Assuming one's conclusion, or “begging the question,” was a cheap rhetorical trick when Aristotle started bitching about it 2300 years ago (and it wasn't exactly new when he showed up). Yet today, left-wing ideologues use it constantly. I put “common sense gun control” in my browser and got 68 million hits, and the first twenty pages of them were all from Democratic politicians or left-wing newspapers. EVERY leftie does this. Obama has not given a speech about guns in which he does not refer to “common sense” gun laws. Pelosi does it. Bill Clinton does it. Ed Rendell. Michael Nutter (constantly). Bloomberg (of course). And now, sadly, we must add Pat Toomey to that list.

You have all seen these phrases: “sensible laws,” “reasonable measures,” “common-sense regulations.” The left does it because their supporters don't care much about reasons or arguments; they just need to be told what the right people are thinking. (You may have noticed, for example, that approval for gay marriage has spiked upwards among black voters now that Obama has changed his public position on it. These folks were not persuaded to change their minds---they simply “evolved” once Obama did.) The left is also the home of the newly-identified low-information voter, a group that is completely uninformed and highly opinionated. They have no time for, or interest in, arguments or persuasion. The time required for a slogan or bumper sticker is the measure of their attention span for matters political. Arguments are wasted on them, but the phrase “common-sense gun control” tells them all they need to know.

This is done with every issue, not just gun control. The gay marriage issue is now called the ”marriage equality” issue by the left, for example. This turns it into a question solely of discrimination, and we all hate discrimination, don't we? Suddenly it has nothing to do with traditional values, the protection of children, inheritance law or anything else. Similarly, regarding the treatment of captured terrorists, the left tells us we need to decide whether we approve of “torture.” We do not, of course, but neither are we entirely certain that waterboarding or playing loud music fits the definition. For most of us, that is the question. For the left, however, the conclusion is simply assumed. Whatever practice they disapprove of is “torture,” and no further argument is permitted.

For you time-challenged voters, or for those who just can't be much bothered with political blather, my suggestion here can save you a lot of time. It doesn't even matter what the issue is. If a politician is presenting you with arguments for his proposal or his point of view, support him. Vote for him. Occasionally, he will be wrong but occasionally all of us are wrong. In the long run, we will all be better off. But if instead he tells you what to think and what to conclude, walk away. Show him the contempt he is showing for you. Scorn him, mock him, and vote against him the first chance you get, whether his name is Barack Obama or Pat Toomey.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki


Tuesday, March 26, 2013


GAY MARRIAGE IN THE SUPREME COURT


Gay marriage is in the Supreme Court today, and I have only one prediction regarding their decision: regardless of what they decide on Prop 8, there is no chance they will decide that same sex marriage is protected by the US Constitution and must be permitted across the land.


In order to do so, Ruth Bader Ginsburg would have to support that view (otherwise the votes would not be there).  She will not.  Over the years, she has made it clear she believes that big political/moral issues should be settled by the democratic process, and not by the Court.  She has described Roe v. Wade as a "mistake" for this reason, though one can assume her personal view is pro-choice on the issue of abortion.


Back in the Pleistocene Era, my criminal law professor at the University of Michigan, Yale Kamisar, made this same argument.  The big moral issues (capital punishment, abortion, etc.) are not addressed by the Constitution, and pretending they are undermines the rule of law.  These are political issues and must be decided by the people, either nationally or state-by-state.  Supreme Court justices have no law to apply on these questions so all they can bring to the table are their personal prejudices.


Or, as Mark Steyn asked today: "Why not ask Punxsutawny Phil?"



Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Sunday, March 24, 2013


GENERAL MATTIS RETIRES

Four-star Marine Corps Gen. James Mattis was unceremoniously dumped as head of CENTCOM in January and retired on March 22, 2013. Often called "The Warrior Monk," he was revered for his toughness, his erudition, and his loyalty to his troops. Basically, this is a guy who composes poetry in Greek, but was equally at home leading a charge into a firefight. An expert marksman and a natural leader, he spent more than forty years in the USMC.

Some of his remarks over the years have been saved, and circulated, by other Marines:

"The first time you blow someone away is not an insignificant event. That said, there are some bastards in the world that just need to be shot. There are hunters and there are victims. By your discipline, you will decide if you are a hunter or a victim."

"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them. Actually it's quite fun to fight them, you know. It's a hell of a hoot. It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right up there with you. I like brawling."

To Iraqi tribal leaders in 2003: "I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I am pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: if you fuck with me, I'll kill you all."

"There are some people who think you have to hate them in order to shoot them. I don’t think you do. It’s just business."

"Fight with a happy heart."

"I don't lose sleep at night over the potential for failure. I cannot even spell the word."

"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet."

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Sunday, February 24, 2013

MY PENNDOT ADVENTURE


With my birthday approaching, it was time to get my new driver's license picture taken, so I drove up Ogontz Ave. (way up---it was further than I thought) to the PennDot office, handed my paperwork to the receptionist and got a ticket informing me I was now Customer Number A155 and would probably be waiting about twenty-five minutes.

There were fifty chairs in the waiting area by the picture-taking desks and there may have been six that did not have butts in them. I commandeered one (an empty chair, not a butt), and surveyed the landscape.

There were two camera stations. The one on the left was manned by a woman in a full Muslim niqab, and she was so tiny and she was covered by so much fabric that I wondered whether there actually was a woman in there somewhere rather than some animatronic device that simply moved the acres of clothing around and made human voice noises. Above her was an electronic screen informing the waiting public that she was now serving Number A137.

The station on the right was staffed by a large woman. She was so large, in fact, that my first thought about her was that, if any substantial portion of her was actual muscle mass, she would be in a position to challenge Michael Oher (to whom she bore a superficial likeness) for his position as left tackle on the Superbowl Champion Baltimore Ravens. It did not take long to realize, however, that the muscle mass was lacking. Most NFL left tackles are a lot like aircraft carriers but are much more nimble. She too resembled an aircraft carrier, but with none of the quickness.

As I arrived, her electronic message board indicated she was helping Number A136. However, she immediately arose, proceeded into the back room, and her message screen went blank. Oh, dear. Had she left the building? Had she gone home for the day? Were we now reduced to just one camera station staffed by six yards of worsted wool that might or might not have a little Muslim lady inside it?

I sat. I waited. Ten minutes later, the aircraft carrier returned, holding a roll of scotch tape, which took her another four minutes to open and insert in her dispenser. Mystery solved. Her message board then lit up and she continued her transaction with Customer Number A136.

The mini-Muslim was still working on Number 137. I had been in the house for fourteen minutes and I was still the eighteenth person in line. I began to suspect my wait might exceed twenty-five minutes.

The joint was devoid of architectural nuance and the decor was minimal. You would think there might be a photo of the Governor or a few pictures of waterfalls or mountaintops or another natural wonder found somewhere in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Nope. Nothing like that.

The only things on the walls were six large posters, identical, each proclaiming the house rules in a bold black capital-letter font I remember seeing a lot of in ”Triumph of the Will.”

NO EATING
NO DRINKING
NO SMOKING
NO CELL PHONES

Gambling was permitted, I suppose, though I didn't really see anything to bet on.

There was a white dropped ceiling made out of the same stuff they pour coffee into at WaWa. The walls were a uniform, washed-out pastel blue. The floor? Linoleum, of course--- the Muzak of floor coverings. I've been in nicer rooms. In fact, I've been interrogated by police in nicer rooms.

Several minutes passed. Then, almost simultaneously, both message boards flipped. The aircraft carrier was now serving A138 and the niqab was working on A139. Progress!

There were at least a hundred fifty people in the place seeking learners permits, driving tests, ID cards or (like me) driver's license pictures, and since we were not allowed to eat, drink, smoke or use our cellphones, well, that list pretty much exhausted the universe of killing-time-at-PennDot behavior any of us could imagine, so we all just sat quietly and waited for the universe to end. I didn't see anyone doing charcoal sketches of our little outpost and I didn't see anyone writing their memoirs. No one was folding origami paper into a swan and no one was doing yoga. No one was holding a book or newspaper---not one person out of a hundred fifty was reading. I had brought some Alexis de Tocqueville along for a laugh, but never cracked it.

I did allow myself to speculate briefly on what de Tocqueville would have made of this scene and decided he would have attributed it to the influence of lawyers on the American experiment. He liked American law and lawyers in a general way, but he also saw their downside. He would have recognized the PennDot-ization of America as one of the perils embedded in our founding.

A half hour had passed. It seemed likely I would soon be 15th in line, or even 14th, but my best guess was a total wait time of two and a half hours. I leaned over to the woman sitting next to me. “I'm ditching,” I said, “so if your number is above A155, you just moved up a slot.” She smiled ambiguously, which meant she either had moved up a slot or she thought I might be a psychopath.

Walking out the door, I glanced back. Today PennDot, tomorrow Obamacare, I thought. Five years from now, this is what doctor's offices will be like too.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Sunday, February 10, 2013

PHILLY'S TOP DOWN MAYOR


The Philadelphia International Cycling Championship was the biggest bike race in America, drawing tens of thousands of spectators, attracting the top cycling teams from around the world and generating an estimated $15 million in revenue for local businesses. It is no more, largely because Michael Nutter views the life of a city as something that must be handed down from the government. It is not the first event he has chased from Philadelphia and it won't be the last.

Like most such events, it was hatched not by bureaucrats but by dreamers---David Chauner, Jerry Casale and Jack Simes III, three biking enthusiasts with ties to the city. In 1985, the young men realized their vision on the streets of Philly for the first time, in a race won by Olympian Eric Heiden. Then in 2009, as Chauner told the Inquirer last week, the city's fees tripled. The race limped along for three more years, but the red ink finally spelled the end.

The Dad Vail Regatta began in 1934 and, after a hiatus for WWII, has been held on the Schuylkill since the 1950s. It faced a fate similar to the bike race in 2009 when the Nutter Administration decided it needed to more than double the city's fees. In November of that year, the Regatta announced it was moving to Rumson, New Jersey because it couldn't afford Philly any longer. Only after an intervention by Bob Brady was the regatta saved, at least temporarily.

Other events have not been so lucky. The Pennsylvania Barge Club (founded 1861) resides on Boathouse Row. Its “Philadelphia Frostbite Regatta,” however, is no longer run on the Schuylkill but on the Cooper River in Camden. The races were forced to leave in 2009 when the Nutter Administration boosted its demands on the organizers to $9000 per year.

And then, of course, there's Love Park, where Michael Nutter made his bones in Philly politics.

As the popularity of skateboarding exploded in the 1990s, big names in the sport began to tout the wonders of Love Park as a venue. Some of them with international reputations (Ricky Oyola, Josh Kalis, Anthony Pappalardo), were seen in the park and attracted crowds of spectators for their tricks. ESPN, which created the X-Games, took notice of the phenomenon and tried to make this city the home of the Games, signing a two-year deal to bring the event to South Philly.

This was too much for Councilman Nutter, however. He sponsored the bill to ban skateboarding in all public places and shepherded it through City Council, after which it became law with Mayor Street's signature. It had to be done, we were told, because skateboarding would cause a million dollars in damage to our parks every year. Sound a bit inflated? Or hysterical? It does to me too, and there was never any documentation offered for this estimate. But even if it were true, it would have been chump change compared to the estimated $40 million the X-Games would have brought in to local businesses.

What is particularly sad about the X-Games saga is that skateboarding developed in Love Park purely by accident. When Edmund Bacon first conceived of Love Park in 1932, he had no idea that sixty years later the design of the place would turn the park into a mecca for skateboarders around the world. Yet to a visionary like Bacon, that serendipitous result was the very thing to be cherished about a city. Accidents happen in urban spaces, wonderful accidents that bring people together in ways no one can anticipate. This was why, in 2002, the 92-year-old Bacon rode a skateboard in Love Park as a protest against the dreary legislation Councilman Nutter had pushed through.

I cite the “economic impact” figures for these events ($15 million for the bike race, $16 million for the Dad Vail, $40 million for the X-Games) for one reason---to make clear that Michael Nutter's hostility is NOT based on any rational economic criteria. If the bike race brings $15 million to Philadelphia businesses every year, that money (in hotel rooms, restaurant bills, souvenirs, hot dogs, transport, shopping, etc.) generates tax revenue for the city far in excess of the extra $200,000 or so the city tried to extract from the organizers. Beyond that, of course, one would hope that elected officials in Philadelphia would have a more general assumption that money coming into Philly businesses is a good thing, and that prosperity should be encouraged for its own sake. This is apparently not the case.

I don't know why Michael Nutter does this repeatedly to events beloved by city residents. I'm not his shrink. I can only conclude that, since he is hurting Philadelphians (and the city treasury) by his actions, his primary motive is to exert government control (at any cost), over the sometimes untidy life of the city. Unless the city government itself organizes these festivals and sports extravaganzas, Michael Nutter seems to view them as somehow illegitimate and unworthy of preservation. The Mayor was very much in charge of the Labor Day concert at the Art Museum (though he left most of the details to Jay-Z). No problem there, I guess. It is only the events that are produced organically from the citizenry that excite his ire and his desire to impose the heavy hand of government.

A different sort of city government would view events like the bike race and the Dad Vail and the Frostbite Regatta and Love Park skateboarding as civic assets, and manifestations of Philly's unique spirit. A different sort of mayor would understand he is merely a temporary caretaker whose job it is to nurture and support the dynamism that bubbles up from neighborhoods and entrepreneurs and community organizations. Instead, it seems that Michael Nutter, as both a councilman and now as a mayor, views the real treasures of the city as untidy little annoyances that must be regulated, taxed, or stamped out.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Thursday, February 7, 2013

CLICHE FILE: "At the end of the day..."

(An occasional series on expressions we need to stop using immediately.)

At the end of the day,
  • ...it gets dark.

  • ...you watch Jeopardy.

  • ...you put on your comfortable shoes.

  • ...God has placed “night.”

  • ...it is best to make a comprehensive list of everything that might possibly go wrong the next day, and then, after each item, provide a list of possible countermeasures and the equipment or supplies needed in order to implement those countermeasures---then log on to Amazon and order those supplies and that equipment.

  • ...they're just waking up in Japan.

  • ...it may be wise to choose a “designated driver.”

  • ...your wife may want to know what you have been doing when you were supposed to be at work.

  • ...if the first thing you do when you get home at night is make yourself a 16-ounce martini, some people will think you might have an “issue.”

  • ...you need to remove those floppy, colorful, bootlike things on your feet and leave them in the breezeway for a while. I love you, Darling, but they reek.

  • ...I like to pop in my copy of “Remains of the Day.” It's not the sort of thing you want to watch first thing in the morning.

  • ...it's a good time to check on your supply of supplemental oxygen because you never know when you will be asked to ascend elevations in excess of 20,000 feet.

  • ...they just start up another damn day.

    Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

HARBAUGH'S FOLLY AND HOLDING FOR FREE; Observations on the 2013 Superbowl


Two thoughts about the Superbowl (the “Har-bowl”) just concluded:

First, 49er's coach Jim Harbaugh made a fundamental game-playing error in the second half.

I know that football coaches, unlike other types of coaches, are rarely game-players. They don't play backgammon or chess or poker or Risk or other types of strategy games. They have more in common with military generals in that their primary task is to manage, and control, and inspire a bunch of young men and get them to achieve certain group goals. It's a very difficult job, especially considering the psyche of the modern pro, and anyone who can keep fifty immature, imperfectly-educated, testosterone-fueled, filthy rich world-class athletes with no manners on something like “the same page” has no time to learn how best to play games and make the correct strategic decisions at crucial moments. I understand that.

But why can't they hire somebody to do it? Why won't they hire some numbers geek to tell the Jim Harbaughs of the world when to punt, when to kick a field goal and (above all) when to try a two-point conversion? These are not “football decisions” like whether to blitz on a particular play or whether to replace your left tackle because he can't walk anymore, and they don't depend on how a particular coach “feels” at that moment. They are objective, numbers-based determinations to be made about what should be done in a specific situation in the game of football. And since they are objective, there is one correct course of action. And Jim Harbaugh, like many coaches, has no idea what that correct course of action might be. In fact, it is unlikely Harbaugh is even aware there is a correct course of action.

So why won't the 49ers hire somebody to tell him?

With 14:49 left in the 3rd quarter, the Ravens led 28 – 6. Jim Harbaugh was down by 22 points. What, at this point, were the 49er's chances, and what could they hope to accomplish? How could they possibly get back in this game, and win it?

The obvious answer, the starting point, is obvious: score three touchdowns and four extra points. That's the 22; that ties it up. Then you have to shut down the Ravens as well. This had to be what Harbaugh was thinking and hoping and planning for. And in fact, the almost-successful 22-point comeback was the entire story of the second half, up until the last couple of minutes.

And as luck would have it, 14:49 in the third quarter was the moment the San Francisco fortunes turned around. Seven minutes later, they scored their first touchdown of the game and presented Jim Harbaugh with a critical game-playing decision. Assuming their dreams would come true and they would score the three touchdowns they needed, how should they approach the question of the four extra points? When do they go for two?

There is one right answer to this question.

For the analysis that follows, for simplicity's sake, we will assume the chance of kicking a single extra point is 100% and the probability of success for a two-point conversion is 50%. The real probabilities, from years of NFL data, are very close to those numbers. A missed kick on an extra point is extremely rare, and NFL teams succeed on two-point tries almost exactly half the time.

Since the 49ers actually scored the three touchdowns they needed, we got to see Jim Harbaugh's decision on the critical strategic question of when to go for two. (A field goal by each side at the beginning of the fourth quarter did not change the 22-point comeback equation.) He chose to take single points after the first and second touchdowns and try for two only after the third touchdown. Since the chance of making a single two-point conversion is 50%, this meant that Harbaugh's strategy had only a 50% chance to tie the game even if his 49ers succeeded in scoring the three touchdowns and holding the Ravens. This was not the optimal strategy.

In this situation, down 22 points, when a coach needs one two-point conversion to go with his three touchdowns, he must go for it at the first opportunity, after the first touchdown. If he makes it, he need only kick single points after the next two scores. But even if he fails, he has an additional chance. He can still get his four extra points with two-point conversions on both the second and third touchdowns, and that possibility would have provided an additional 12½% chance of success. By pursuing his optimal strategy and going for two on his first touchdown, Harbaugh would have given himself a 62½% probability of scoring 22 points on the three touchdowns. By waiting until the third touchdown to try for two, however, he limited himself to only a 50% chance of tying the game. And he gained exactly nothing by doing this. His failure to understand the situation (or his failure to have somebody on the sidelines capable of making the right decision for him) simply cost the 49ers that 12½% chance.

This is not to say the 49ers would have tied the game even if Harbaugh had done the right thing, of course. And even if the 49ers had tied up the game with ten minutes left (when the third touchdown was scored), there was no guarantee they would ultimately win it. But that cannot excuse Harbaugh's decision. This was a fairly simple math and logic problem, and he got it wrong in the most important game of the year and possibly the biggest game of his career. There is no logically-defensible reason for what he did.

Elsewhere, I have written about the 15-point deficit in pro football, and why it is best for the trailing team to go for two on the first touchdown in its comeback. The reason is that 15 points is not “two scores.” It's either two scores or three scores and you won't know which it is until you try the two-point conversion. Since it is essential for the trailing team to know whether the 15 points is two scores or three scores, the team should go for two as soon as it can. If it fails in the attempt and trails by 9, it will at least know that it has failed and will have to score twice more to overcome the 9-point deficit. There is really no reason to wait.

If a team is trailing by 15 points, however, and waits until its second touchdown to go for two, it does not actually reduce its chances of tying the game. A team down by 15 needs one two-point conversion and their probability of getting that two-point conversion is the same whether they try it after the first or the second touchdown. This is not true when the gap is 22 points (or 29 or 36 or 43), however. What Jim Harbaugh did significantly reduced the 49er's chances of tying (and ultimately winning) the Superbowl.

*

On the Ravens' intentional safety at the end of the game, the ball was snapped with twelve seconds left. The punter then ran around a bit before stepping out of the end zone with four ticks on the clock. It should have been easy to run out the clock on this play and the Ravens failed to do so.

The Ravens had ten blockers. The 49ers had, at most, ten guys rushing the punter. All the Ravens have to do on this play is assign a player to each rusher and have him wrap his arms around the guy until the clock expires. If necessary or desirable, each Raven could simply pick one guy, tackle him and sit on him. There would be flags all over the field, but (as Hillary would put it), what difference does it make? The penalty for offensive holding in this situation is to award the defense a safety.

In effect, on an intentional safety, there is no penalty for holding.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki


Friday, February 1, 2013

2013 SUPERBOWL


As you are probably aware (because I've told you twenty times), I know nothing about pro football. Its infield fly rule has always confused me and at times I forget how the knight moves. What I do know is that yards per pass is strongly correlated with football success, especially in the playoffs and the Superbowl. It is for this reason that I now predict the 49ers will win the Superbowl by a comfortable margin.

The numbers are not close, and the numbers are all I got. Offensively, San Francisco is a full yard better than Baltimore (6.6 to 5.6). Defensively, they are a full yard better as well (4.4 to 5.4). In addition, the 49ers outscored their opponents by 4 ½ points more than Baltimore outscored its opponents. These are huge differences. In my world, where numbers matter, San Francisco rolls to victory in one of those 42 – 13 Superbowls that were so common twenty years ago.

Of course, in my world, where numbers matter, Mitt Romney was elected president on November 6. More to the point, I cannot measure the effect of a magical end-of-season Ray Lewis playoff mojo, and there can be no doubt that a magical end-of-season Ray Lewis playoff mojo (hereafter, “MEOSRLPM”) is at work in the current cycle. If numbers were everything, Baltimore would not have beaten Denver. Baltimore would not have beaten New England either. Yet here they are in New Orleans getting ready to play the 49ers for all the cheese.

I'm still taking the 49ers minus the points, but I am reevaluating my stance on Ray Lewis. The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways, and maybe these last two Ravens victories, both as a touchdown-plus underdog, contain a message. Maybe it's time for me to forgive and forget. Maybe it's time to stop asking Ray what happened to that white suit he was wearing the night those guys got stabbed. Maybe it's time to buy Michael Vick a puppy. And maybe, finally, O.J. should get his Heisman Trophy back.

Nah.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Thursday, January 31, 2013

THIS AND THAT


      The older I get, the more I like baseball, partly because I'm sick of the cheating in other pro sports. There simply is not that much on-the-field cheating in baseball. It's not possible. In other sports, however, the cheating is intentional and crude and disrespectful of the game itself.

      When a basketball player is driving for the hoop and another player grabs his jersey in a way the ref can't see, I don't think, “Wow! What a wily old veteran!” Instead, I think the guy should be thrown out of the game and maybe banned for the rest of the season. Ditto the defensive back in football who knows he is not allowed to hold a pass receiver but does so anyway, cleverly, subtly. I hate those guys. Their sport has given them fame, prestige and tons of money, and now they are pissing on it.

                                                                             *

      One consequence of a centralized and hierarchical organization is that it becomes difficult to evaluate lower-level members of the organization. Since all decisions are made at the top, the only performance measure on which underlings can be judged is their ability and willingness to follow orders. In a rigid hierarchy, this is an important quality, of course, but it provides no evidence of a talent for independent judgment. This is true even of important executives in the organization, those with responsibility for directing a large number of employees. They may be so constricted in what they can do with their minions, it can be difficult to evaluate them as decision-makers.
                                                                     
                                                                    *

      Presidential debates would be much more civilized with a stage, two candidates, two microphones, and no moderator. Any rules would be agreed to by the two debaters alone. When I suggest this, people often say it would result in chaos, but I doubt it. Putting people on their honor often works better than depositing them in a legalistic framework where outsiders have to enforce the rules since that tends to relieve the participants of any responsibility for their own behavior. In Europe, there are towns that have eliminated traffic control signs altogether, and they are often safer than similar burgs in the US full of Stop signs and Slow signs and Prepare to Stop signs and Stop Sign Ahead signs.

                                                                            *

      I saw it again today (12-9-12) in the NY Giants – New Orleans Saints game. The Saints were trailing 35-20 late in the 3rd quarter, scored a touchdown to make the score 35-26, and then kicked an extra point to pull within 8 points. This is a fundamental strategic mistake, and every coach in the NFL makes it. It has been at least ten years since I have seen a coach, down 15 late in a game, score a touchdown and go for a 2-point conversion, though it is the only rational play.

      When asked about this (and these days they are never asked), a coach will say he wanted to position his team “within one score,” by which he means 8 points. The problem is that 8 points is not “one score.” Seven points is “one score” because one can assume the extra point after a touchdown, but no one can assume a 2-point conversion. In the NFL, a 2-point conversion is a 50-50 proposition. It's a coin flip.

      The point is this: 15 points is not two scores; it is two scores plus a coin flip. It might be three scores---you just won't know until you try your 2-point conversion. Similarly, 8 points is not one score; it is one score plus a coin flip. It might be two scores. And if you, as a coach, need a coin flip to catch up and force overtime, don't you want to flip that coin as soon as possible?

       In the context of the NY – NO game, when the score is 35 – 26 and you are deciding whether to kick for one or run a play for two, WHY WOULD YOU DELAY FINDING OUT WHETHER YOU NEED TWO MORE SCORES, OR ONLY ONE? Why don't you want to know now? And if you want to know now, what possible reason could there be to kick a single extra point just for the pleasure of being down eight points?

                                                                       *

      Believing as I do in the burning bush and the resurrection, I'm reluctant to mock other people's theology as goofy or illogical, but I do find certain faiths difficult to take seriously.

      Beliefs and rituals and festivals about food are so human, so hard-wired into all of us, that a religion without them makes me suspicious. Catholics have the Last Supper, the Seven Fishes, the meatless fast days. Jews have their Seder and their bitter herbs and their Jewfood obsessions (e.g., brisket). Muslims butcher meat in prescribed ways, and long for the sundown meal during Ramadan.

      Now consider the Quakers. They've been in America for 350 years, centered in Philadelphia, which is a food town if there ever was one, but have somehow managed NOT to put their stamp on any distinctive cuisine. Is there a Quaker-style fried chicken? Is there a catfish-a-la-Betsy-Ross? What is “Quaker food,” anyway? Oatmeal?

      Then there's the Mormons, who are only marginally more chow-conscious than Quakers. Utah consumes more Jello per capita than any other place on earth, for example. Perhaps the height of Mormon gastronomy is something called “funeral potatoes,” (a fun-loving name for a dish if ever there was one). These consist of frozen,shredded potatoes, canned cream of chicken soup, sour cream and crumbled cornflakes, all baked at approximately 1650 degrees Fahrenheit for three hours and twenty minutes (or until done).

    My son shares an apartment in Salt Lake City with two young Mormon gentlemen. Stacked in several spots around the abode are a number of 25-lb boxes of “RICE” and “OATS” and other no-frill staples. The LDS church recommends this, you see. Everyone is supposed to have a least six months of provisions against the inevitable societal meltdown or Rapture or apocalypse. That reflects the fundamental attitude of Mormons toward food. It's all about survival. Mormons are allowed to have fun, but not by eating.

    Copyright2013MichaelKubacki


Saturday, January 26, 2013

UP A ROPE?


In an email a few days ago, I wrote to a friend that when the NCAA fined Penn State $60 million for the Sandusky scandal, the only honorable response of Governor Corbett would have been to tell the NCAA to piss up a rope. My friend replied, “Piss up a rope???”

This surprised me. I do not remember a time in my life when I did not know this expression and I have assumed that every adult in America was aware of it. I was wrong about that. Over the past week, I have asked a couple dozen people the following question: “Have you ever heard the expression 'Piss up a rope'?” For a clear majority (about two-thirds), the answer was no.

Everyone who hears it instantly understands what it means. It's a bit cruder than “Go jump in the lake,” and a bit more polite than “Go f*** yourself,” but it means the same thing. Leave me alone. Go away and perform a pointless or impossible act.

But attempting to track down its origins doesn't get you very far. There are dozens of websites offering information on words and phrases and their roots, and I've been to a lot of them. A site called Wordwizard reports simply that it is American, from the early 20th Century, and it cites Cassell's Dictionary of Slang. Another discussion thread (in a chat room, not an academic site), says, “I heard it in SE Asia in the military back in the 60s.”  And that's about it.

There might be something to this military angle, however. A female friend thinks her source might have been her father, an American sailor in WWII. The military, of course, is the source of much slang, but it is also a linguistic meetinghouse or melting pot where choice words and phrases get passed around even though they may not have originated in the military itself. A regional expression from Georgia, if it gets the job done, can wind up in Oregon or Vermont in this fashion.

I do believe it's American rather than British or Australian or Canadian, simply because there doesn't appear to be any evidence of foreign roots.

Those who are familiar with it are predominately male and white and older, and most of the women who know the term are married to them. In other words, women hear it from their husbands, not their hairdressers. Also, several guys told me they hadn't heard it used for years and suspect it's archaic, or at least fading. On the other hand, the country band Ween recorded a song in 1996 entitled---you'll never guess---”Piss Up A Rope.” And while they may never win a Grammy for it, they still tour and they still do the song, which features the immortal line: “I'm sick of your mouth and your 2% milk,” as well as these heart-rending lyrics:

My dinner's on fire while she watches TV
And if you've ever wondered what it's like to be me
She takes all my money and leaves me no smokes
Yells at my buddies and insults my folks

I'm breakin' my back, doin' the best that I can
She's got time for the dog and none for her man
And I'm no dope, but I can't cope
So hit the fuckin' road and piss up a rope

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Thursday, January 24, 2013

PENN STATE AND THE NCAA---CHAPTER 2


HARRISBURG, Pa. -- Gov. Tom Corbett said Tuesday he plans to sue the NCAA in federal court over stiff sanctions imposed against Penn State University in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky child sexual abuse scandal.
The NCAA sanctions, which were agreed to by the university in July, included a $60 million fine that would be used nationally to finance child abuse prevention grants. The sanctions also included a four-year bowl game ban for the university's marquee football program, reduced football scholarships and the forfeiture of 112 wins but didn't include a suspension of the football program, the so-called death penalty.
---ESPN, 1-2-13

Some in the media and the sports world have praised Governor Corbett for the antitrust suit he has belatedly filed against the NCAA. Let me suggest another approach to the question of how this multifaceted mess should have been dealt with, and how we should view the governor's actions.

At this point we all know the basics of the story. Crimes were committed, repeatedly, in the shower rooms of Penn State athletic facilities and other places. Young boys were sodomized and otherwise sexually abused by a respected member of the university community, and the crimes continued for a number of years. Other adults in positions of authority looked the other way or didn't want to believe the stories or instinctively protected the culture of secrecy that allowed this situation to develop. They bear some moral culpability, and maybe some criminal culpability, for the outrages that occurred. While the responsibility of the predator himself may be quite clear, the extent to which other men should be held accountable is less so. Some may be entirely innocent. Others are weak and perhaps corrupt, but should be allowed to slink away in shame. A few should go to jail. Much of that must still be sorted out.

Here in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, we have trustees who oversee the universities and we have policemen and courts and judges and legislators. All of these individuals have certain responsibilities, defined by our laws, and all of them have a legitimate role to play in bringing bad people to the bar of justice and crafting policies that will prevent future crimes of this type. That, at least, is how the system is supposed to work. Today, however, we have become so accustomed to being bullied by NGOs, community organizers and advocacy groups that we have apparently forgotten what it is that has made us strong as a nation, and has made us the envy of people around the world. It's the rule of law and the enshrinement of due process principles in our legal system. But those concepts are so very complicated, aren't they? The rule of law? Due process? What does that stuff really mean? So instead, we routinely succumb to the caterwauling of those with big hearts and no legal authority.

Therefore, when the NCAA shows up and says, "Give us $60 million---it's for the children," we do. We all roll over. The president of PSU immediately agrees. The trustees agree. Corbett agrees. "It's only fair," they tell us poor slobs in the cheap seats. "We'll pay the money and then the healing can begin."

The only honorable response to the NCAA's demand for $60 million was to tell them to piss up a rope. Where does such a number even come from? How did they arrive at it? Is there some secret pederasty accounting software locked away in the NCAA's vault? Can we see it? Can we run the numbers ourselves? Why sixty? Why not $58.7 million? Why not $82.3 million? Why not a billion?

The abject acquiescence to the NCAA's demand for $60 million contains a lesson on why it's important to believe in something, why it's important to have values and know why you have them. If Tom Corbett, lawyer, Governor and former Attorney General of Pennsylvania, had any understanding of or appreciation for the rule of law, he would have rejected these NCAA demands instantly. He would have mocked them and named these faceless bureaucrats and demanded they resign from the NCAA.

He did not, of course. Corbett deserves no congratulations here. He has disgraced himself in this affair. The correct response to this attempt to extort money from the taxpayers of Pennsylvania was not a close call. It should not have been a difficult call, certainly not for a former attorney general.

The NCAA's action cannot withstand even a minute of consideration and analysis, which means that our Governor did not give it a minute's thought but simply wilted under the political exigencies of the moment. I mean, if somebody tells you to pay a $60 million fine, don't you even ask to see the law or the rulebook or the code of regulations? Governor Corbett didn't.

We all know the NCAA has a rule against giving a kid a free Jeep, right? And we all know there's a rule against giving a linebacker an A in English when he never went to class. Also, we have seen what happens when a car dealer gives a $20,000 no-show summer job to a college basketball player. Can't do that.

But where's the rule here? CAN WE SEE IT PLEASE? Where is the rule that says if one of your assistant football coaches screwed little boys in a locker room twelve years ago (events with no connection to the current players or coaches), the school has to pay the NCAA $60 million and have its football program hobbled for the next decade? If there's a rule that says that, and Penn State agreed to be bound by that rule, well, OK. We'll pay the money. But show us the rule, and show us the procedures you followed to determine we were guilty of violating this rule, and show us the calculations or decision-making process that was used to determine that $60 million was the appropriate penalty. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but it seems to me that sixty million bucks used to buy a lot more transparency than it does today. Inflation, I suppose.

Any lawyer worthy of the name would have seen the due process issues crying out for attention. This is not hard stuff. It's what lawyers do---they see issues, even if they do not immediately know how those issues should be resolved. But Tom Corbett, former Pennsylvania AG, did not. "Sure," he said. "Sixty million? Great. No problem." Only now is he having second thoughts. Only now, six months later, has our esteemed Governor figured out that HE was the kid in the shower.

Copyright2013Michael Kubacki

Thursday, January 17, 2013

2013 NFL PLAYOFFS---Conference Championships

AFC

Remember when Princess Diana got killed in that car in Paris and we all suddenly had to stop making nasty remarks about bulimia and adultery? I guess it's the same sort of thing with Ray Lewis. C'mon Ravens! One more win for Ray, so he doesn't have to retire! Apparently, he's the grand old man of linebacking now and nobody's allowed to mention the murder indictment in 2000 or the two guys who got killed in Atlanta at a Superbowl party that year. But I still wonder about the white suit Ray was wearing that night---the white suit that has never been found. Fashion tip---don't wear a white suit 1) after Labor Day or 2) when you're going to stab people.

New England is heavily favored and New England will win. Sorry, Ray. However, I can't see laying nine or ten points in a spot like this. For one thing, Conference Championship games are rarely blowouts. The teams that get there have usually proven themselves worthy by first getting to the playoffs and then clearing away the wild-card dross. Here, New England, in Foxboro, beat a pretty good Houston team. Indeed, the Patriots thumped them. Baltimore's achievement was even more impressive---going to Denver and wearing down the best team in the conference. The Ravens were supposed to be crushed in that game, yet they responded to challenge after challenge and finally prevailed.

In their recent match-ups, the Raven beat the Pats 31 – 30 in Baltimore on September 23. And, of course, in last year's AFC Championship game, the Pats won in New England, 23 – 20. So how do you lay nine or ten points in a game like this?

In terms of the numbers, New England has a much more potent passing offense and a slightly weaker pass defense. In some ways, it's the same sort of challenge the Pats faced with Houston, where the question was (as it often is in New England), can Brady outscore these guys? He probably will, but if I were forced to bet this game, I would have to take the Ravens and the points. Instead I pass.

NFC

Penn Charter is the oldest Quaker school in the world. It was founded in 1689 by William Penn. It's very expensive. It has a lovely campus and beautiful buildings. It's three blocks from my house. Matt Ryan went to high school there. He played quarterback.

It is difficult for people outside of Philadelphia to understand the loathing most normal Philadelphians harbor for Quakers, the Quaker establishment in Philly, the American Friends Service Committee and schools like Penn Charter. Maybe it's the bow ties. Maybe it's the absence of anything one might call “Quaker food.” Maybe it's that they are better than the rest of us and have a lot more money than the rest of us but will occasionally stitch together a quilt for us if we're really down and out and smelly. For me personally, it's the way they claim to be “pacifists,” but actually just root for the other side in every war.

Kinky Friedman once noted that they're not making Jews like Jesus anymore. Well, they're not making Quakers like Betsy Ross either.

So I'm biased. That's why I'm telling you this. I'm disclosing my bias. I think Matt Ryan is a mutt, but maybe that has something to do with my feelings regarding Quakers in general and Penn Charter in particular. For me, though, letting a Penn Charter quarterback play in the Superbowl would be like letting Haaa-vard play Alabama for the BCS.

And it's hard to be impressed with Atlanta's win over the Seahawks, isn't it? They're at home, they've had a week off, they're up 20 in the fourth, and then they need a miracle comeback to squeak out a win??? This is not how good teams get to the dance. By contrast, San Fran fought off a tough, gritty performance by the Packers and finally managed to dominate in the final quarter. San Francisco beat the Packers because they were the better team. As for Seattle vs. Atlanta, well, who can be sure?

As for the all-important yards/pass numbers, San Francisco is the best team in the NFC while Atlanta is no better than fourth. Green Bay was much more dangerous than Atlanta will be. The 49ers will be going to the Superbowl this year after a (relatively) easy win over the Falcons. Lay the points.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Thursday, January 10, 2013

2013 NFL PLAYOFFS---ROUND 2


The NFC

These are the hard ones, of course. Atlanta, San Francisco, Seattle, Green Bay---no one (outside of Massachusetts and Colorado) would be astonished to see one of these teams win the Superbowl, so the two winners this weekend are anybody's guess. Both lines, by gametime, will be close to a field goal, with Atlanta favored over Seattle and San Fran favored over the Pack.

I see a real edge for Seattle in its game against Atlanta. Offensively, their passing attacks are both very efficient but the Seattle pass defense is significantly better than Atlanta's. Seattle's defense, in fact, is largely the reason Seattle outscored its opponents by 167 points this year, while Atlanta outscored its foes by only 120.

On the other hand, Atlanta had a week off and gets to play at home.

Prognosticating ain't easy (that's why they pay me so much money), but I have to go with the Seahawks. When a team that is demonstrably superior is getting points in a playoff game, you must take that team.

I pass on the other contest. San Fran's yards/pass numbers are a wee bit better than Green Bay's and the 49er's are legitimate favorites in this game. They also are at home, of course, and there's no tundra in the “city by the bay,” even in January, so there's no reason NOT to bet the 49ers. But I won't. Maybe it's Aaron Rodgers and how cute he is in those insurance commercials. Maybe it's the specter of that game on September 9, the first game of the season, when San Francisco beat Green Bay IN GREEN BAY by a score of 30 – 22. Maybe it's my loathing for Nancy Pelosi. I don't know. I just can't climb aboard the San Francisco bandwagon just yet, though I acknowledge they have put up the best numbers in the NFC.

The AFC

These, by contrast, are the easy ones. I will be amazed if New England and Denver do not win, and so will you. Each is favored by more than a touchdown, and they deserve to be. These are point spread games, so the question is whether either game will be a true blowout or whether the underdog will be able to keep it close.

Denver dominates Baltimore in yards/pass, both offensively and defensively. Let me reiterate part of that: Denver's pass defense is a LOT better than Baltimore's, despite the primitive Jungian memories buried deep within all of us of extraordinary Baltimore defenses going back to the Pleistocene Era. Forget that. Denver is much better, on both sides of the ball, which is why the Broncos outscored their opponents by 8 points more per game than the Ravens did. Denver is scary, while Baltimore went 10 – 6 in a weak division. This game is over in the third quarter. I lay the points with Denver.

If you follow football at all, you have probably noticed the slightly creepy similarities between Bill Belichick and Richard Nixon. The jowls. The forehead. The paranoia. The smile that, like Nixon's, always looks like somebody just told him to “Smile!” so he tries to do so even though he doesn't quite know how and he wouldn't like it much even if he did. Have you noticed that as Belichick ages, the physical resemblance is increasing?

What am I trying to say here? I acknowledge Belichick is a football genius (though it doesn't hurt your status as a genius to have Tom Brady as your QB).  New England's continuing dominance under Belichick is an amazing story of sports success. They will almost certainly beat Houston. And yet....

I just don't trust the bastard. He's the kind of guy who, if his bowels are out of whack this week, might start bombing Cambodia rather than game-planning for Houston. Psychologically, Belichick is trouble. I'm not sure I trust Giselle either, for that matter. New England is a twisted team, mentally speaking, for a number of reasons.

And when I look at the numbers, the game could be close. New England is the second-best team in the AFC in yards/pass, point differential, etc., but Houston is third. In addition, Houston's pass defense is clearly superior to that of the Patriots. Then there was that 42 – 14 whipping the Pats put on Houston on December 10th. Houston remembers that game, and if that debacle helps anyone, it helps them, not the Patriots. The 42 -14 score is not an accurate reflection of the relative strengths of these two teams.

New England wins. Maybe they win big. But I'm not touching it.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki       

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2013 NFL PLAYOFFS


No shot: Washington, Minnesota, Baltimore, Indianapolis, Cincy

Can get lucky: Atlanta, Green Bay, Houston

Seriously good: SF, Seattle, Denver, New England

NFC.

Somebody from the NFC will play in the Superbowl this year and they will probably lose to either Denver or New England. The best of the NFC lot are San Fran and Seattle, but Atlanta, Green Bay (and even Washington) are all worthy of some respect. The only real throw-away in this group is Minnesota, the sort of running-back-centered squad that never goes anywhere in the playoffs.

In the yards/pass sweepstakes that matters so much in the tournament, San Francisco and Seattle stand out from the pack. Atlanta, as the #1 seed, gets to play at home, and they are not a fraud, so they have a chance. Green Bay? Well, their yards/pass numbers are decent, and their quarterback is a winner and they won eleven games and.... They are in a wild-card game and that's not normally a path to the championship, but Aaron Rodgers is Aaron Rodgers and the tundra is still the tundra and I can't hate them.

In the wild-card games, take Green Bay to cover, even though it's a big number. Also take the Seahawks over RGIII. Washington has had a wonderful year and RGIII is a very nice young man, but their defense is thin and this is one of those teams for whom just making the playoffs is a dream come true. I like these guys a lot, but it's over now.

AFC.

On September 17, the Denver Broncos traveled to Atlanta and lost by 6 points to the undefeated Falcons. The following week, at home, Denver lost (again by 6) to Houston. Two weeks later, in New England, the Broncos lost to the Patriots 31 – 21. Since then, Denver has won eleven games in a row, and only one of those games was as close as 7 points.

Three losses in the season's first five weeks to what may be the league's three best teams (other than Denver itself), all at a time when Peyton Manning was still shaking off a year's worth of inactivity and learning a new offense. Since then, there has not been a single misstep. Denver is this year's favorite to win the Superbowl.

Trivia question: how did Denver get to the playoffs last year? The magic of Tim Tebow? Well, no---not really. It was actually the Denver defense that dragged Tebow and the rest of Denver's dreary little offense along for the ride. That defense is still there, but now a healthy Peyton Manning is running the other piece of the show. Peyton must feel he stepped in something wonderful at last. In all his years at Indy, he never had a defense like the one he has in Denver this year. This is the best pass defense in the playoffs (though Seattle and San Fran are close), and the Broncos are also one of only seven teams this year to give up fewer than 100 yards rushing per game. Denver is also the only AFC team this year to give up fewer than 300 points in the regular season.

Peyton has the best yards/pass numbers in the playoffs and he has the rare luxury of a strong defense as well. Why don't we just hand them the trophy right now?

Well, one reason is the Patriots. They have once again scored a ridiculous number of points (557, to be exact), and scoring points is the most important thing you have to do in January and February. While the Patriot defense is nothing special this year, Brady is so good and so efficient that he can often prevail simply by racking up point totals lesser QBs cannot. Also, while it is possible to beat New England, you cannot beat them up. They lost only four games this year by a total of eleven points. This means that even against strong opponents, they will have the ball in Brady's hands at the end of a close game. Denver is the NFL's best this year, but New England is still dangerous. One must note, however, that the Patriots are only the #2 seed. To get to the Superbowl they will have to win in Denver.

The AFC wild-card games feature Cincinnati at Houston and Indianapolis at Baltimore. Both home teams are favored and both should win but it's hard to find much value in the pointspreads of these games. Baltimore only went 10 - 6 this year, had a relatively weak schedule, and lost four of their last five, so it is tempting to take the points and jump aboard the Andrew Luck train. I remain skeptical of any team in 2012, however, who was capable of losing to the NY Jets by 26 points. Pass.

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki

Saturday, December 29, 2012

OBAMA---THE REELECTION

“Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.” Wordsworth. A line of poetry that stuck in my head years ago and now seems the only phrase to describe my feelings on this Tuesday night of November 6, 2012. The news arrives around 11pm. Obama wins Ohio. It's over. Obama has been reelected. We are now, as Mark Steyn puts it, “in the suicide phase of advanced western society.” Europe has been in this phase for some time, and with this election, we have joined them.

It is the end of America. Beforehand, when I tried to imagine the possibility Obama would win, that was my conclusion. Realistically, now that it has happened, there's no reason to think otherwise. The America I believed in, that I assumed would always be there, is gone. Something happened while we weren't paying attention. Reagan once said, “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction,” and mine (the Baby Boomers) is the generation that lost it. We didn't pass the meaning of freedom on to our children, or at least not to enough of them, and now the end has come.

Nothing now would stop the implementation of Obamacare, so what could be done? My life expectancy was suddenly a bit shorter. A few minutes before the news came, I had owned my knees, my colon, my pancreas, my prostate, my hips---all the things that go wrong as a guy gets older. Something on that list would, more than likely, kill me someday. But at least I owned them! Now a person I didn't know, somewhere in the federal government, would decide what was to be done with them. Cancer treatment? Well, maybe. Depends on your age, of course. What kind of value do you bring to the table with your remaining years? A new knee? Well, how cost-effective would that really be, for America? You may want a new knee, Mr. Kubacki, but let's be realistic. Where's the “value-add” for the rest of us?

Sam and Bella and Gabriel and Max were in the house, representing the “youth,” I suppose. They were pleased. They had all voted for Obama. Later, it would be revealed that those under thirty had voted overwhelmingly for Obama. Another sign of the apocalypse. They are the ones who will be victimized the most when we are all impoverished, when America's streets become so very dangerous, when jobs cannot be found, when all the doctors come from Lahore rather than Johns Hopkins, when money no longer can be depended upon to hold its value, when no one can afford to retire except the favored few at GE and Goldman Sachs and Google, or those who work in academia or government.

Since 1965, under LBJ, the Left has claimed not only that government can take care of us but that government should take care of us. Have they found enough believers and indoctrinated enough schoolchildren so the philosophical battle is now irretrievably lost? Maybe. That's the way it seems, in any event. As we see from Europe, government control of medicine is a huge step in the process. Once citizens no longer own their own bodies, the relation between man and government is changed, and there's no obvious way back. Once a sufficient quantity of the populace buys into the cocoon of dependency, it's not a matter of politics anymore. Adopting Leftism is a moral choice, not a political one, and when enough people make that leap from independence and self-sufficiency, the fundamental values of society change. Everything changes. As we have seen in Europe, people stop going to church. They stop having children. They stop taking care of the old and the infirm. That's too much trouble, or it's the government's job, or it interferes too much with your Starbucks time.

*****

For weeks before the election, I was predicting a Romney victory, largely on the basis of Obama's weakness as an incumbent. When first-term presidents run for reelection, I confidently pointed out, one of two things happens: either he gets more votes than he did the first time or he loses the election. It had never happened in America that a sitting president got fewer votes the second time around, but squeaked by. Never.

There are reasons for this. Every election is different, but elections in which there is an incumbent president tend to be about the incumbent. If the citizenry is generally pleased with his performance, there will be new supporters and more votes (e.g., George Bush, Bill Clinton). If the people are disappointed, some folks who voted for the guy the first time around will not vote, or will even vote for his opponent. The opponent is not exactly irrelevant, but he is of secondary importance. As the wise guys put it, an election like this is a referendum on the incumbent.

And if that is true, then Obama was rejected. After all, he got about four million fewer votes in 2012 than he did four years ago.

But that's not how it works, of course. We can and we will argue about the meaning of the numbers and the extent of Obama's “mandate,” but in a two-party system there's only two guys who have any chance to win and one of them wins and the other one doesn't. None of us should kid ourselves about what happened. Obama won. Obamacare prevailed. Joe Biden will remain a heartbeat away from the Oval Office.

And Mitt Romney was a stone loser. He's a nice guy and he has many fine qualities, but even though America didn't like Obama quite as much this time around, Romney still lost. Obama was rejected, and Romney still lost. And he deserved to.

Much has been written about Obama's cynical campaign. The race-baiting (“Put y'all back in chains”), the exploitation of “low-information” women over contraception and abortion, the class warfare about Romney's business success. Certainly the Obama campaign was a disgrace, but in its own polite Republican way, the Romney campaign was every bit as cynical. With its relentless focus on “job creation,” the idea often seemed to be that Romney would (personally) get you a job or make you one or somehow place you at a desk or an assembly line or a delivery truck somewhere.

This strategy was always doomed. If you had a job, why would you vote for Romney? And if you didn't have a job and the bills were piling up and the collection calls were filling up your answering machine, who would give you the unemployment benefits and food stamps and welfare benefits to carry you through? Obama, of course! It's absurd for a Republican to base a campaign on what he can give voters because Republicans will NEVER win that battle against Democrats. As we have seen, there is literally no limit to the amount of public money Democrats will spend to buy votes. Obamaphones? Two years of unemployment checks? Millions of people added to the Social Security disability rolls? And none of this is really new. FDR pioneered the process, doubling the federal budget to put public works money in every state and almost every town in order to ensure his continued reelections. Today, Obama simply prints money to accomplish the same thing. And the Democrats have a monopoly on it. This is a playing field on which Republicans can never compete.

The reason we were given to vote for Romney was that a) he understood business and b) he was NOT Obama. But for Republicans to win, doesn't there have to be something more than that? Where was the soaring rhetoric? Where was the condemnation of the Left's push to make us all smaller while making the government bigger? Where was the rage at America's sudden support for the most backward and misogynist political philosophy to be found in the Middle East? Where was the demand, in the face of numerous scandals and cover-ups, that the rule of law be respected?

Maybe these are more complicated ideas than “I'll find YOU a job,” but they weren't that complicated. When a federal program winds up killing a US border agent and several hundred Mexican civilians, the story should be told. When financial laws are flouted so the vast assets of a car company can be seized and handed over to political allies of the president, Republicans must have the courage to object, and in no uncertain terms. There are principles at stake and they are principles that used to be regarded as important. In any event, these principles are the only weapons Republicans have to deploy in a political contest. The assumption that conveying a philosophy to the American people is impossible, that it's a sucker's game, was a fundamental error---conveying a philosophy, and being true to that philosophy, is all the Republicans have ever had.

Maybe Romney just couldn't do it because he is not a conservative and he doesn't understand the ideas and he cannot comfortably express them, but it had to be done. Presidential elections must be about bigger things. Even the Democratic campaign was about bigger things (e.g., collectivism). And though Obama has always been reluctant to outline his beliefs explicitly, there could be no mistake at this point about the direction he seeks.

From the beginning of the primaries, Romney was a candidate who refused to engage any of his opponents on the issues but instead attacked them personally. And one by one (Cain, Bachman, Gingrich, Santorum...), he picked them off. All of them were flawed, it is true, but as the Republican party turned to first one, then another, then another, the one thing that should have been clear is that very few Republicans actually wanted Romney. He was the proverbial child whose parents had to hang a pork chop around his neck so the family dog would play with him. And then he was the only one left and we all decided (me included) that, at least, he was better than the alternative.

His deficiencies as a candidate all seem so obvious now, but we ignored them because he was not Obama.

Even apart from his political views, or lack of them, was the problem that he was identified from the get-go with Massachusetts. Republicans cannot win a national election without the South, and Southerners find it almost impossible to view Northeastern effete types as serious human beings. This was one of John Kerry's problems, and it was also Mitt Romney's. Southerners can respect learning and do not really dislike the Harvard- or Yale-educated, but there is always a suspicion that they lack a certain necessary quantum of common sense and manliness. “Harvard boys have their uses,” Roy Blount, Jr. once said, “but you would never let them play in the Orange Bowl.”

Ultimately, Romney lost both Florida and Virginia, and these were two of the states Obama won in 2008 that any Republican had to win in 2012. He probably lost those states not for any particular ideological reason, but because he was perceived as a silly guy from Cape Cod who didn't know a Dr. Pepper from a mint julep and had never tasted either one. As a general matter, this was Romney's problem across the country, and not merely in the South. He got more votes than McCain did, but in the wrong places. He lost all the Democratic strongholds by fewer votes, but he still lost them. This is what happens to a Republican moderate. They lose blue states by less, and they also lose some red states that a conservative could win. There are always too many voters who WILL NOT take a candidate like Romney seriously.

*****

As I await the meltdown, with little hope that the country I grew up in will be recognizable even a few years from now, I find myself focusing on smaller issues, the sort of things that might matter if I am completely wrong about our immediately future. Voting, for example. If there are more elections to come in America, it would be nice if they were 1) honestly run, and 2) fairly reflected the views of individual citizens.

The fraud bothers me. It has always bothered me, but the difference in 2012 is that no one seems to be concerned about it. Cheating has become normal. In Philly, in 59 voting divisions, Romney got no votes, for a total of 19,605 to 0. In Chicago, 37 precincts voted only for Obama, with a total of 17,007 – 0. In Cuyahoga County (Cleveland) there were 16 divisions that went 100% for Obama, for a total of 5439 – 0. There were 112 other divisions where Obama got more than 99% of the vote, with approximate totals of 50,000 to 295.

These numbers are impossible. Studies have shown that almost 2% of all ballots are spoiled. Accidental voting for the “wrong” candidate is one of the ways this can happen, and it happens regularly, everywhere. It is not possible that 19,605 votes in 59 Philly divisions were cast for Obama and none was cast for Romney. Even if everyone in those divisions had wanted to vote for Obama, Romney would have received several hundred mistaken, accidental votes. That he did not is proof that fraud was present, and is now embedded as an institutional aspect of our modern system of voting, at least in Democratic fiefdoms.

It is as if cheating were now an acceptable part of the process. The Left, simply because it was their partisans who perpetrated it, have no interest in discussing it. For Republicans, it is impolite to mention what happened in Philly and Cleveland and Chicago because the fraud cannot be disconnected from the black cities and neighborhoods where it occurred.

And though the numbers themselves demonstrate the cheating, the “defense” offered by local politicos is even more disgraceful. It is something along the lines of: “Black people will only vote for Obama, so these numbers are not surprising at all. We're amazed if somebody votes for the white guy.”

All of which begins to detail the more serious problem. While the 19,605 – 0 is proof of cheating, there is no reason to doubt the exit polls indicating that in 2008, 96% of black voters chose Obama and that 93% did in 2012. These numbers should fill all of us with a profound sadness. Is this really what black people in modern America have done with the right to vote, secured for them only with the blood of their ancestors? The Civil War, Reconstruction, Jim Crow, lynchings, the decades-long political fights over suffrage for black Americans---and this is what happens? Block voting for a man because of his skin color? Tribalism? The vote for Obama (and excuses for vote fraud that benefited him) are a stain on black Americans. Are black voters as a group so cowardly that they are unable to think (and vote) for themselves?

After all, it's not like 96% of black Americans agree with Obama, is it? A large majority of black voters in California voted against gay marriage four years ago, even as they were voting en masse for Obama. And they certainly don't agree with his (pro-infanticide) views on abortion. Since black women are five times as likely as white women to have an abortion, there is a political movement (which once included Jesse Jackson) that condemns abortion as genocide. Black voters are actually more anti-abortion than other demographic categories, yet they give 96% of their votes to the the most radical pro-abortion politician in American history?

More to the point, there is NO issue on which 96% of black people agree with Obama because 96% of black people in America do not agree on anything. For example, 96% of black people in America do not agree that Tupac is dead.

*****

If it sounds like I have little hope for America's future, I suppose that is true. There is certainly nothing in the current debate over the “fiscal cliff,” in which both sides are studiously ignoring the real issue of spending and budget deficits, to provide any reason for optimism. More precisely, the problem for a guy like me is the inability to see past the coming meltdown and figure out what will be important and what I should worry about. That's the frightening bit. What will our piece of the world look like after the riots and after the defaults and after the money disappears and after the insurrections? When all of history converges on a singular point, there is no way to predict what will happen on the other side of that point. This is true even if we are looking backwards. What did the universe look like before the Big Bang occurred? No one knows. No one even knows how to begin to think about how one might go about attacking such an issue in a rational way. What America will look like on the other side of Obama is a question only for madmen.

Regarding the “fiscal cliff” and the impending tax increases (the largest in American history), it is tempting for us conservatives to demand Congress hold the line and fight Obama on taxes, especially since Republicans still control the House, the constitutional font of all revenue bills. The Republican record here, however, is nothing to be proud of. They could have refused to increase the debt ceiling, but they didn't. Boehner could have insisted on real cuts in spending, but he didn't want to or he got suckered but in any case it didn't happen. So why would anyone think the Republicans will get serious now? I certainly don't. They have already started to cave, in fact, and are negotiating against themselves. Obama is the President and the Senate is controlled by Democrats..Wouldn't the expectation be that these forces propose a plan for the “fiscal cliff” that the rest of us could consider? Instead, all the questions are put to the Republicans.

The better course, both fiscally and politically, is to let Obama have his way. Let the Obamacare taxes all go into effect and let him impose whatever tax rate he wants on the hated rich. Death taxes? Sure. Big Pharma? Outta here. Medical device companies? Crush them. Family farms? Seize them all for taxes. Since the Republicans in the House are unwilling to take a meaningful stand, there is much to be said for having them simply stand aside. The European economy is in a state of near-collapse, and the sooner we get there ourselves, the sooner we will be forced to face reality. The federal government now borrows $188 million per hour, so the end is certainly near. Why not let Obama have his way and have it all come crashing down now rather than six or seven years from now? When unemployment doubles, when benefit payments are cut, when our dollars are worth nothing---at that point, something will change. Life in America may have to get a lot worse before it gets better, but the abyss now seems inevitable, so let's jump.

Copyright 2012Michael Kubacki