UP A ROPE?

In an email a few days ago, I wrote to a friend that when the NCAA fined Penn State $60 million for the Sandusky scandal, the only honorable response of Governor Corbett would have been to tell the NCAA to piss up a rope. My friend replied, “Piss up a rope???”

This surprised me. I do not remember a time in my life when I did not know this expression and I have assumed that every adult in America was aware of it. I was wrong about that. Over the past week, I have asked a couple dozen people the following question: “Have you ever heard the expression 'Piss up a rope'?” For a clear majority (about two-thirds), the answer was no.

Everyone who hears it instantly understands what it means. It's a bit cruder than “Go jump in the lake,” and a bit more polite than “Go f*** yourself,” but it means the same thing. Leave me alone. Go away and perform a pointless or impossible act.

But attempting to track down its origins doesn't get you very far. There are dozens of websites offering information on words and phrases and their roots, and I've been to a lot of them. A site called Wordwizard reports simply that it is American, from the early 20^th Century, and it cites Cassell's Dictionary of Slang. Another discussion thread (in a chat room, not an academic site), says, “I heard it in SE Asia in the military back in the 60s.”  And that's about it.

There might be something to this military angle, however. A female friend thinks her source might have been her father, an American sailor in WWII. The military, of course, is the source of much slang, but it is also a linguistic meetinghouse or melting pot where choice words and phrases get passed around even though they may not have originated in the military itself. A regional expression from Georgia, if it gets the job done, can wind up in Oregon or Vermont in this fashion.

I do believe it's American rather than British or Australian or Canadian, simply because there doesn't appear to be any evidence of foreign roots.

Those who are familiar with it are predominately male and white and older, and most of the women who know the term are married to them. In other words, women hear it from their husbands, not their hairdressers. Also, several guys told me they hadn't heard it used for years and suspect it's archaic, or at least fading. On the other hand, the country band Ween recorded a song in 1996 entitled---you'll never guess---”Piss Up A Rope.” And while they may never win a Grammy for it, they still tour and they still do the song, which features the immortal line: “I'm sick of your mouth and your 2% milk,” as well as these heart-rending lyrics:

My dinner's on fire while she watches TV

And if you've ever wondered what it's like to be me

She takes all my money and leaves me no smokes

Yells at my buddies and insults my folks

I'm breakin' my back, doin' the best that I can

She's got time for the dog and none for her man

And I'm no dope, but I can't cope

So hit the fuckin' road and piss up a rope

Copyright2013MichaelKubacki