THIS & THAT XXI

 

          On March 16, 2020, the day before St. Patrick’s Day, Pennsylvania went into lockdown for COVID.   Most businesses, including bars and restaurants, were closed indefinitely by order of Governor Wolf.

 

          I remember it vividly.  The lockdown was to go into effect at 5 PM, so at 2 PM, I raced over to Billy Murphy’s Irish Saloon, at Conrad St. and Indian Queen Lane in Philly.  My plan was simple: get a drink before the world, or something, ended.  Nobody knew what was coming, but I didn’t like the look of it.

 

          The door was locked.

 

          I stood at the door and heard muffled voices inside.  I later learned they had closed early and were having a staff party, both to celebrate the Saint and to mourn the lockdown.  In a way, it was a perfect Irish moment, composed of equal parts laughter, melancholy, and alcohol.  Standing there, I thought about pounding on the door and trying to talk my way in, but I didn’t.  It was their bar.  It was their party.  I’m not even a little bit Irish, I don’t celebrate St. Patty’s Day, and it wasn’t even St. Patty’s Day yet.  Still, knowing they were there and wanting to join them but not being able to, I don’t think I ever felt more Irish.  And I don’t think I have ever wanted a drink more than I did at that moment.

 

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          “Mai Pool is a trans nonbinary founder of a collective that mediates nonviolent conflict and discrimination at music events in Berlin and a former swimmer from Indiana.”

          Philadelphia Inquirer, 2-24-22 (identifying the author of an Op-Ed)

 

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          On this first day of spring, I can only give thanks that I somehow survived Joe Biden’s warning on December 16, 2021:

          “For the unvaccinated, you’re looking at a winter of severe illness and death for yourselves, your families, and the hospitals you may soon overwhelm.”

 

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                    Palm oil is an ingredient in many cookies, and its use is decried by environmentalists and others because, they claim, the production of palm oil leads to deforestation and loss of habitat for endangered species.  Girls selling Girl Scout cookies in malls and supermarkets have been screamed at by adults because their cookies contain palm oil.

 

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          Fauci showed up on TV the other day, but for about a month, it was almost as if he had never existed.

 

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           As COVID madness marches on, the safety protocols and obedience rituals become ever more absurd.  Masking at March Madness is particularly baffling.  At first, I thought that in entire arenas, ONLY cheerleaders had to wear masks, but then I noticed a row of sportswriters wearing them too---not all the sportswriters, just some of them, in one row.  I’d love to hear the explanation for these rules from some NCAA infectious-disease consultant.

 

          I’ve been keeping a list of these rules and regs and procedures over the last two years.  One of my favorites, for example, has been the directional arrows on the floor in supermarkets and big-box stores.  Also, there are still businesses that make you wait in the parking lot and then text you to come to their front door when they are ready for you.

 

          I’m still compiling my collection.  Please email me your favorites at duck3351@aol.com

 

Copyright2022MichaelKubacki