1. Patrol my
neighborhood once a week and shoot racists, misogynists and anti-Semites before
they cause any trouble.
2. Start using
the metric system for everything.
3. Learn how to
refine my own petroleum so I can stop paying those high gas prices!
4. Wear a
disguise for any journey of more than 25 miles.
5. Drive faster
when I’m drunk so I get home quicker and don’t endanger other drivers.
6. Balance my
gut flora.
7. Stop Brexit
once and for all.
8. Change my
personal pronouns once a week, and don’t use any (like “him” or “her”), that
will allow haters to pigeonhole or gender-identify me.
9. Learn something
about Latvia! I don’t know anything the
place! Do you???
10. Only wear blackface on important holidays like Memorial
Day or Christmas.
11. Finally start paying reparations by giving a
dollar to a different black person every day.
12. Rinse and
repeat, consistently!
13. No matter
how bad I may feel in 2020, resolve never to be a Hatey McHateface.
14. Whenever I
buy something (e.g., at Target or Trader Joe’s), that is NOT a “fair-trade”
product, pay an extra quarter to the cashier and tell them to give it to the
farmer.
15. Eat more red meat but less blue-green meat.
16. Go natural, and stop coloring my hair.
17. Get rid of everything I own that was invented by a
white person.
18. Brew my own mead, make candles and soap, make my
own formica, ferment foods and vegetables for our pantry, sew my own clothing,
raise chickens in the backyard, bake my own bricks, and construct a (small)
nuclear weapon.
19. Drink beer whenever I feel like it. Why be shy about it?
20. Yoga!!!!
---Copyright2019MichaelKubacki
Posts
